Good morning Travellers, I got my first hater yesterday! An auspicious occasion in my book, because no one is anyone without a hater.
Actually, I'm kind of surprised it took this long, but we're seeing a lot more traffic these days and this post ought to earn me a few more. What's great about haters you ask? For one thing, it lets me know that I hit people where they live, that my words had an impact. The other thing, the best thing, is that haters bring out lovers. For every one hater that speaks, a couple lovers step up to defend and that is pretty freaking awesome.
My post about bullying yesterday aroused someone's ire, however that person didn't see fit to comment in this space. The comment was posted to Facebook instead where I was accused of 'blaming the victim'.
Please allow me to clarify. I would never blame a true victim for being victimized, it happens all the time and true victims deserve sympathy and support.
I HAVE, DO and WILL blame those who choose to be victims. I blame the choice, I blame the weakness of character for making the choice and I blame anyone who supports that choice.
How about some first person life ownership from me? I loved my business very much, the loss of it was engineered by others but I was complicit in my own destruction. I'm the one who did not cover myself, I'm the one who didn't insist that the lease negotiations get sped up so I wouldn't be operating on a month to month basis. I AM THE ONE WHO WAS SO SCARED ABOUT THE IDEA OF LOSING THE THING THAT MEANT THE MOST TO ME THAT I ALLOWED THE THING THAT MEANT MOST TO ME BE TAKEN AWAY.
Yes, that bastard who owned the building did me wrong, he is partially to blame for deliberately gutting my family. But I share that load because it's my family, it's mine and I didn't protect it. I accept my responsibility for my role in victimizing myself.
And I don't feel one bit sorry for me, oh no. I did this to me and I have to live with the consequences.
So if you are victimizing yourself, don't expect pity from me. You can expect a firm but loving metaphorical slap to the head, wake up and take up people! Empowering victims is an idiotic notion, empower ownership instead.
Empower yourself and others to take ownership of your lives, wallowing in your self pity isn't going to get you anywhere. You will just keep failing, just keep being miserable and downtrodden, because those things are all choices that YOU make.
Making the choice to own your life is not easy, nor is it pretty. It's ugly and depressing to admit to yourself that you are a grubby critter, especially if your entire life hinges on the illusions of sanctimonious righteousness.
My parting thought to the hater is this: Every word you wrote was an attempt to set me up, an attempt to get me to bully you. You tried to manipulate a situation so you could continue your familiar role of being the victim because you confused strength with oppression. That I am opinionated does not make me a bully, that I don't agree with you doesn't make me wrong.