Monday, January 7, 2013

Granny Panties

Well we got it together yesterday and took some photos.  It wasn't horribly traumatic at all, in fact Clyde and I kept breaking out into laughter during the photo session, I'll tell you why in a moment.

We spent most of Saturday setting it up, Clyde enjoys photography but our past portrait attempts were kind of sad so he cruised the net for some tips.  He set and reset the lights with me stepping in whenever testing was required, rearranged all the furniture to set up a 'studio' and tried various things to diffuse the light.

Clyde asked me for my cheesecloth. "Mmmmm, no, that's mine", I said, "that's a kitchen necessity and you can't have it."  Let me just say here that cheesecloth can be both expensive and difficult to find; when a cook needs cheesecloth, it's an immediate need for which there is no easy substitute.

So, I was off to Wal-Mart Saturday night in search of diffusing material.  Somewhere during that brief drive over, my mind changed the material from white to colors.  I got it into my head that he wanted color filters for the lights, even though Clyde had said no such thing.

I did not look for white anything, instead I went to the slut section at Wal-Mart (it's the section where they sell padded bras to preteen girls, don't get me started on that one) and started flipping through clearance bits. Oddly, they only had flannel and fleece items, sure it's January, but this is Central California.  I stood there in the slut section thinking furiously until it came to me.

Oh yeah, granny panties.  It's a fair bet that the good people at Fruit of the Loom did not see me coming, but they were ready for me anyway.  I snatched up the last five-pack of colored nylon panties; blue, green, yellow, pink and one wild paisley pair.

I love this picture, I'm going to frame it and hang it in the kitchen.  The back drop is a chenille bedspread draped over the vitrine (which is a china cabinet of sorts that we pried out of Clyde's grandparent's wall before the house was demolished) and covered with some sheer sparkling fabric we had around.  Clyde rigged up the lights and I held a piece of white poster board on my lap to reflect light back up.

Those colored panties turned out to just what we needed, and many thank yous to the Universal Order for the course correction.  It wasn't the harshness of the lights that we needed to address, it was the color, and we noticed the vast improvement with the first test shot.

It took a lot of experimenting with combinations of colors and panty placement on the lights, but by the end of Saturday night we had a good set up.  Yellow and purple were the best colors for me, which is odd because those are the colors I am going to paint my office (Shortening's former bedroom, she doesn't need it anymore.  My kids aren't wild about the idea of being named in my blog so they are code named Shortening and Cracker).

On Sunday, Clyde took a couple hundred shots that I have culled down to about 20 that I can live with.  So what do you think, does my photo look good enough to share with the innocent citizens of planet Earth?  Wait!  Before you answer, consider this:

Happy Monday Travellers!


  1. Very funny and creative. You might be able to make a lot of money buying and repackaging granny panties to sell to photographers....

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    I have to tell you, when my daughter was in highschool, her english class was all about creative writing. She wrote a song about, GRANNY PANTIES!! hahah It was so cute, it talked about not having any clean pretty panties, and the only pair left was her GRANNY PANTIES! the class had to record their songs on video! It was the most hysterical thing to see, she sold it though, she had dance moves and tempo. :) seeing your post title and blog title made me wonder if the high school teacher posted it on youtube! :D so crazy how a pair of panties...brings back so many memories, and makes us giggle!! funny! :) visiting from the UBC, grateful that this connection made me smile. and
    please feel free to stop and visit me too ;)

  4. OH MY ~ those are such GREAT panties and the visual :) Funny~funny~funny! And your own pics are great too!

  5. Ha! I loved the title, and smiled at the story and the great picture of lingerie festooned lighting!

  6. What a fun post, you made me laugh out loud. I gave up coffee yesterday and am feeling it this morning, your post was just what I needed. I love the granny panties part of the story and your great sense of humor. The photos look great, they show your fun spirit.

  7. Got me giggling there! :-D And your pictures look fine for the world to see!

  8. Thanks everyone! I'm so please that you all enjoyed our photography tutorial ;)

  9. I just love your blog ! Just love it !

  10. Oh, this is hilarious!! One photographer I know was hatin' on me for taking a fairly excellent picture of the moon with a <$200 camera and an amazing (but under $100) tripod, when he's not managed it with nearly $10K of photography equipment - and not for lack of trying. I may have to send him over here to your blog for some lighting tips. Creativity and granny panties trumps fancy-pants filters...

    1. My husband had been a hobbyist photographer forever, those panties are now in his camera bag!