Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Ms. Charisma

Anybody who claims to be 'enlightened' or 'evolved' is full of crap.  Human beings are self-serving, grubby little critters and always have been, the only thing that truly separates us from the cave men is that we have better stuff.

While that may seem like an odd way to start a post about personal charm, I think we all know by now that I like to take the scenic route to my point.

I am charming, this is not a boast but rather a description; I also have brown hair so it just is what it is.  I've always had the million dollar charm, pretty much always been aware that I got it and pretty much always exploited it ruthlessly.  It makes my life easier, I'm human, I grub.

I don't use it to take advantage of people, to relieve them of their cash or convince them to join my religious cult - which are all time honored professions for people with an excess of personal charm.  Mostly I use my powers for good, to grease the wheels of goodwill for myself and loved ones because life is hard enough; it's up to me to make it a bit easier.

Strangers don't bother me at all, I can chat up anyone in any situation with the same ease as I chat with Tess or Tina.  Stick me in the 'hood and I will discuss the relative merits of Tupac over Biggie with the local historians or take me to an art museum to hash over the meaning of Pollack's splashes, it's all good.  If I am lost, I just stand on a street corner and ask loudly for directions because I know that several people will offer to help.

It used to bother Clyde how it was that I can say pretty much anything I want to anybody - impish, snarky and possibly even rude things - and not just get away with it, but actually ingratiate myself to the target.  He is one of those shy and quiet types; he thinks it is some sort of thought-out social strategy that I apply myself towards.  It is not that at all though.

For all my vitriol and gnashing about the behavior of people in general; I am still and always on the side of every individual I meet - at least until they give me a reason not to be.  I do my best to support all the people I come in contact with, even if it is something tiny like holding a door or chasing them down to say that their coffee cup is on the roof of their car.  This is not a studied behavior, this is my natural way and always has been, I am naturally inclined to want strangers to be happy and fulfilled.

People are like dogs, we can smell the ineffables about each other and I think that is the crux of my 'charm'.  Most people can sense that I do not pose a threat to them, that I genuinely have their back and will help if I can, so they are drawn to me.

Sounds like an enlightened viewpoint, eh?  It's not.

So why should I bother caring whether or not the other 7 billion people on this planet are happy and fulfilled? Precisely because there are 7 BILLION other people sharing this tiny rock with me, and if they are all happier then my life is easier.  Grub, grub, grub.

No comments:

Post a Comment