Tuesday, February 12, 2013

I Swear

That is not a title but rather a declarative statement.  I swear.  All the time, casually like breathing.  I swear.

And not like a sailor; I could teach a master course at the Naval Academy to those pikers that would include units on curse word arrangement, the skillful use of foreign curses and the avante garde art of alliteration.

I went and asked Google this question:  Why do people swear?  There are many answers to this question such as to relieve stress and cover up anxiety, those all sound reasonable and valid to me.  I didn't see anything that said it was possible that we swear just because it is fun but I didn't delve too deeply into the research either.

I'm not trying to shock or offend, this is just how I talk, how a lot of people talk and perhaps each curse from our lips is actually a question.  ...Huh?

Uh-oh, Question Girl is at it again.

Here is the first question:  If words have no actual value because they are just descriptions of tangible things, then why are some words more valued than others?  When you get down to the nitty gritty, all words are the same; each one a collection of sounds from a common pool of sounds or an ordering of letters from a common alphabet.

So how can one group of sounds/letters be more or less offensive than another?  They are just sounds and groupings, not literal/tangible things.  I'm not trying to be difficult or obtuse, these questions have troubled me since early, early childhood because no one can give me a straight answer.  I see, have always seen, the condemnation of my use of 'language' as a power trip on the part of the condemner.  You are looking for a reason to put me in my place and I have a response at the ready for that.

I think we're up to question three now.  If me saying fuck is so awful, then how is it perfectly fine for me to say freak, frack and frig?  They all mean the same thing!  They are just replacement sounds slash groups of letters!! Oh and then there is that other replacement thing, you know, the ** between the f and k.  Since your eyes are connected to your brain and your brain ostensibly works, what is the point of that little exercise?

If any of you have a real, genuine answer I would love to hear it.  No lectures about customs, courtesies or religious affectations will be accepted unless it actually ANSWERS the question (/s).

And while you are thinking that over, please take note of the fact that the patron saint of colorful language, Gordon Ramsay, is slowly taking over the world.  I would pay real/tangible/serious cash to be cursed out by him, it would be absolutely divine.

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